The Forgotten Third Space: The Role of the Church in a Lonely World

A few weeks ago now, came across an interesting article (via Hacker News) called The Friendship Recession: The Lost Art of Connecting from the Harvard Kennedy School, Center for Public Leadership. It is highly worth a read for yourself but, the article essentially makes the case that Americans are on a downward trajectory in terms of their ability to make, navigate and maintain real-world friendships in an offline setting with nearly 40% of Americans have online-only friendships.

This, consequently, has resulted in a society in which it's less prepared to make new and lasting friendships and choosing the comfort of familiarity over the unpredictability of new relationships. We are truly become a lonely and more isolated society, and this is not good.

While this can mainly be attributed to the rise of the internet and social media usage, the article points out that this compounded by serval other factors including, but not limited to, the suburban sprawl, the rise of the gig economy, and, more significantly, the decline of third spaces. That last point is the one I want to focus on in this post - need for third spaces.

But first, what is a third space? A third space can be defined as a place or environment that’s separate from the usual home (first space) or work/school (second space). This is where people can relax, interact, and connect in a more informal way. They provide a relaxed environment where people can connect with others, share ideas, and feel part of a community. In other words, they offer a distraction from the pressures of everyday life.

For example, youth clubs, as a third space, can have a positive impact on deprived areas by reducing crime. One study suggests that youth clubs provide spaces that support and reinforce positive behaviours and provide good role models.

Other simple examples include places like cafés, parks, or community centres. Generally speaking, a third space can be a place to meet new people and just be yourself without the usual pressures of daily life. Other examples include youth clubs and (more importantly, in my case) churches.

The disappearance of third spaces impacts our lives in profound ways which, according to the article, "has left fewer places for organic social interactions". If you want a strong argument for why church is important, this is it.

To be clear, I'm not advocating people to go to church just because it's good for their wellbeing (although there is plenty of evidence for this). I want people to come to church to see their need for a saviour and seek forgiveness for their sins. This is the primary issue. All the benefits of church fellowship should and will come second.

Just imagine for a moment the benefit churches have on the community. Yes, people will experience the benefits of companionship and fellowship with others (what the article tries to promote) while, more importantly, saving their souls and their lives from the destruction of sin.

A good churches should a positive impact on the surrounding community. For example, the church we attend is in a deprived part of the city and supports the community with a regular food bank, community café and a youth club. This has been particular well-received, with some from the community attending our Sunday services regularly.

But, looking back at the bigger picture on the need for third spaces. I firmly believe that the role of churches can fill this space well.

My thinking is that, by having more third spaces like churches, they could have a similar effect online. If people spend less time online and more time occupying a real-world third space, perhaps issues such as the spread of disinformation, radicalisation and other online harms would become less of a problem. Maybe we need to direct our attention to the offline world rather than the online world when it comes to solving these issues.